And thank Santa for that- I got it! First and foremost, MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL. I hope you had/are having a smashing day. Mine was certainly a Christmas I will not forget in a hurry, I can tell ya!
But I’ll rewind a bit first to get you up to speed...
The first day of biking was quite a test of my pain threshold, as you may or may not be able to imagine. We had quite an easy going start, lulling us nicely into a highly false sense of security. After a bike fitting and a kick-off coconut together, we took a maiden voyage out around the Siem Reap area. Here´s a fun fact for you folks at home- Siem Reap is home to a substantial number of bumpy roads. And here´s another fun fact for you- mountain bike seats are very, very hard. Now put those two together and maybe you have an idea about the fun we had on our first day out and about. I felt a lot of the time like I was sitting on a rock which was breaking quite capably through the lovely padding in the bum area I´d so carefully crafted in Vietnam. Luckily for us, numbness kicks in quite quickly, so after about half an hour, I was more or less unable to feel anything below my tum for the rest of the day, which only poses a problem when you try and dismount like an elegant lady type person and not some kind of half human/half octopus. That first day, we visited a pagoda where some monks were busy monking around the place, and were told about the history of PEPY, the organisation who is behind all this madness. It is mighty interesting but I wont´t bore you with the details right now. Before leaving, we blessed by the big guy on campus (a 77 year old monk who has been a monk for 60 years. 60 actual full years!) and he seemed to get quite a bit of amusement out of the fact that we´re going everywhere by bike. Being laughed at by a monk can now be officially ticked off the list. The day ended with a trip to the Cambodian Circus which, thank Buddha, did not involve any clowns. Just a French Father Christmas.
Day two was, well, a bit on the painful side to start with. Turns out my rear end is quite sensitive, so it took a while to get used to, or rather go numb, to the pain. The day began with a Meg Skinner fave- a cooking class! Again, I will spare you the tasty details for fear of boring you stupid. But I can assure you, it was very delicious indeed. We overran slightly and so had a very quick zoom back to the hostel to grab some stuff and head out for a little 40km ride to a whopping great reservoir. The ride was realllllly fun and I felt all intrepid because there was some very light mountain biking terrain involved- all rocks and sand and mud and what not. Miraculously, I didn´t fall off. I did, however, manage to uproot quite a lot of plants on my way round, looking quite like a bushman when I finally emerged onto the main road. Again, we were late arriving back to town, so I had a whole 25 minutes to sort my life out before being picked up and taken to a Christmas Eve party. Evidently, I am able to get ready in a flash when I´m under a bit of time pressure and I was not the big sweaty mess I had expected to be, which was nice. Mainly for the people who encountered me that evening. It was a great party and I even managed to pass myself off as a Belgian to a Dutch guy (I choose to ignore the fact that he was quite merry on mulled wine at the time).
And so today, Christmas Day, we woke up at 3.45 to make our way to Angkor Wat at sunrise. As did every other tourist in Siem Reap, apparently- it was like Picadilly Circus down there. The sun did its thing and, following breakfast, we had a full day of touring part of the Angkor complex, which is nothing short of incredible. As usual, my brain has failed its purpose to retain knowledge and I can barely remember anything we were told, but I remember it being very fascinating. Lots of stuff about kings and dancers and angry Vietnamese people. We headed back around 3pm and are now about to go out for a Christmas dinner- that festive classic of scallops with chilli and lemongrass!
So here I bid you goodnight. We leave Siem Reap tomorrow and the real adventure begins- wish me luck!!
Wednesday, 25 December 2013
Saturday, 21 December 2013
Hey look, another new country!
And here I am in Cambodia, finally on the brink of my main reason for travelling all this way-the big, scary bike ride. The official first day is tomorrow, so I am free this evening to sit and ponder my fate. I will mainly be thinking about my poor bum and its impending ordeal.
Before I give you an account of my very brief encounter with Thailand, I would just like to make a little dedication to my great aunt Mary. She opened the doors to not only a new country, but also to a whole new side of our family for which I am so grateful, because they are all rather fabulous characters. She was a cracking lady and I hope that I am still climbing mountains and swimming in the sea at 6am when I hit my 80s.
So, yes, my week in Thailand. Well, I hate-but really I mean love-to report that the large majority of my time was spent lazing around on the beach. Sorry! The day after my epic stroll through Bangkok, I went to meet an old friend from uni. He has significantly higher standards than I do, so I found myself in a very fancy hotel, jumping on a bed which was big enough for Henry the VIII and all his wives. Saying that, all of them in a bed at one time would be a very gory affair, given that he beheaded a couple of them. But there would have been more than enough space for the bodies and their heads, and any other heads lying around. Ok, be quiet now, brain. Anyway, after seeing that the bed was a great bed for jumping on, I thought I would check out the rooftop pool (I told you-high standards). Well that plan was tragically poo-pooed when I realised that I was incapable of working the lift. So I just hung around in the room- I didn‘t even want to look at that stupid pool anyway. Once my friend arrived, the evening was spent reminiscing about uni and laughing about how out of touch with the world I am.
The next day, it was beach tiiiiiime! This will be a very short section because really, what can I say? We were in a beach bungalow, 2 seconds from the sea, with nothing to do but relax and watch the world, and the Russians, go by. It was ridiculously lazy. So much so that I was slightly ashamed at how little I did. But before you shake your heads and judge me, remember that I am on the cusp of a world of bike-induced pain!
Upon returning to Bangkok, after yet another bump-tastic bus ride, we headed over to MBK, a.k.a. the best place to buy everything you will never need in life. And I mean everything. It was like a flippin labyrinth. I was really hoping that David Bowie would pop up in his Jared The Goblin King outfit and sing about the babe with the power of voodoo. Sadly, this dream was not fulfilled-instead, I was faced with stall upon stall of, well, stuff. It was a little overwhelming for provincial bumpkins like myself, but my friend was in his element and came away with some pretty decent fake Rolexes. Once we were sufficiently disorientated and dazed, we headed back for a final evening of chat before I left for Cambodia. And here I am!
I‘m not sure how much I’ll be able to update this bad boy in the next month (you can breathe a collective sigh of relief) so see you when I see you. Wish me luck! And Merry Christmas!
Before I give you an account of my very brief encounter with Thailand, I would just like to make a little dedication to my great aunt Mary. She opened the doors to not only a new country, but also to a whole new side of our family for which I am so grateful, because they are all rather fabulous characters. She was a cracking lady and I hope that I am still climbing mountains and swimming in the sea at 6am when I hit my 80s.
So, yes, my week in Thailand. Well, I hate-but really I mean love-to report that the large majority of my time was spent lazing around on the beach. Sorry! The day after my epic stroll through Bangkok, I went to meet an old friend from uni. He has significantly higher standards than I do, so I found myself in a very fancy hotel, jumping on a bed which was big enough for Henry the VIII and all his wives. Saying that, all of them in a bed at one time would be a very gory affair, given that he beheaded a couple of them. But there would have been more than enough space for the bodies and their heads, and any other heads lying around. Ok, be quiet now, brain. Anyway, after seeing that the bed was a great bed for jumping on, I thought I would check out the rooftop pool (I told you-high standards). Well that plan was tragically poo-pooed when I realised that I was incapable of working the lift. So I just hung around in the room- I didn‘t even want to look at that stupid pool anyway. Once my friend arrived, the evening was spent reminiscing about uni and laughing about how out of touch with the world I am.
The next day, it was beach tiiiiiime! This will be a very short section because really, what can I say? We were in a beach bungalow, 2 seconds from the sea, with nothing to do but relax and watch the world, and the Russians, go by. It was ridiculously lazy. So much so that I was slightly ashamed at how little I did. But before you shake your heads and judge me, remember that I am on the cusp of a world of bike-induced pain!
Upon returning to Bangkok, after yet another bump-tastic bus ride, we headed over to MBK, a.k.a. the best place to buy everything you will never need in life. And I mean everything. It was like a flippin labyrinth. I was really hoping that David Bowie would pop up in his Jared The Goblin King outfit and sing about the babe with the power of voodoo. Sadly, this dream was not fulfilled-instead, I was faced with stall upon stall of, well, stuff. It was a little overwhelming for provincial bumpkins like myself, but my friend was in his element and came away with some pretty decent fake Rolexes. Once we were sufficiently disorientated and dazed, we headed back for a final evening of chat before I left for Cambodia. And here I am!
I‘m not sure how much I’ll be able to update this bad boy in the next month (you can breathe a collective sigh of relief) so see you when I see you. Wish me luck! And Merry Christmas!
Sunday, 15 December 2013
And so begins my fleeting romance with Thailand
Lawwwwdy, Bangkok is big. And hot, very, very hot. Having spent the day walking around yesterday, I've come to the realisation that Bangkok is not an ideal destination for those who have little money to their name. I'm not a big shopper, but I even I was tempted to just to empty my bank account and throw money at almost every stand I passed at the market I visited, gleefully yelling "I may have no money left, but look at alllll the beautiful t-shirts I have. La la la la". I managed to control that urge, mainly because I was hungry and so decided that, in that moment, food was preferable to a traditional Thai silk suit (which I would have bought otherwise, obviously, and paraded around Braunschweig in).
I arrived here the day before yesterday, after a very short flight from Saigon. The last day in Saigon was unexpectedly busy: I had banked on just a bit of shopping, a lot of eating, and a great deal of overheating, but Saigon had other plans for us. First of all, culture was the name of the game, and we dawdled off to the War Remnants museum, wholly unaware of what awaited us. I don't really want to write too much about it, because it really was quite harrowing. It was definitely an effective exhibition, but it was incredibly difficult to look at.
After that, we both needed a pick me up, so we went off in search of everyone's favourite friends, carbs and sugar. Sugar arrived in the form of a totally ridiculous oreo-flavoured drink. Actually, drink is not the right word: it was more like a huge melted ice cream with oreos in it. That lasted all of ten minutes (by which, I mean 5) once it came to the table. Fin wasn't too keen on the idea of a sugar coma and instead, opted for that Vietnamese classic, a bacon sandwich. It was a fine specimen, I must say and from the ensuing silence, I think Fin enjoyed it as well. That too was devoured at lightning speed. A couple of hours later, we headed out to meet a friend and for our last meal together in Vietnam. To mark this momentous occasion, we naturally went to a French cafe- tres normal. The night ended in an airplane themed bar, where all the staff were dressed as air stewards. And that, dear friends, was that for Vietnam.
Bangkok is like another world. Unfortunately for my hair, and general outward appearance, the heat and humidity is even more intense than in Saigon. It's lucky I'm not out here looking for male attention, because I have a feeling that I would scare the living daylights out of any poor, unsuspecting objects of my desire. Having made some strategic allies on the plane (this was when I still looked vaguely normal), I was at least confident that I would eventually make it to my hostel and not end up wandering some back alley like the Wild Woman of the West. My comrades and I spent the afternoon and evening together, sampling the delights of the famous Khao San Road: gangs of giant, loud lads in singlets, girls in barely-there shorts, older gents prowling around for young meat- a real treat. Well, less treat, more awful, seedy horror. I called it a night and thankfully found my way back to the hostel without a single wrong turn! Be proud, dear parents.
As I said, yesterday was full of walking. 7 hours to be precise. In 32 degree heat to be even more precise. Despite that, it was very enjoyable to see the city alone but I must have looked like a total madwoman: every time I checked the map and realised I was exactly where I wanted to be, I couldn't help but grin and nod in self-congratulation. Sometimes I even threw in a little celebratory hand gesture. No wonder no-one spoke to me all day. The only time I had a slight panic was when I couldn't find the way out of a shopping centre, but we've all been there, right?
Hope everyone is well and in the festive spirit!
I arrived here the day before yesterday, after a very short flight from Saigon. The last day in Saigon was unexpectedly busy: I had banked on just a bit of shopping, a lot of eating, and a great deal of overheating, but Saigon had other plans for us. First of all, culture was the name of the game, and we dawdled off to the War Remnants museum, wholly unaware of what awaited us. I don't really want to write too much about it, because it really was quite harrowing. It was definitely an effective exhibition, but it was incredibly difficult to look at.
After that, we both needed a pick me up, so we went off in search of everyone's favourite friends, carbs and sugar. Sugar arrived in the form of a totally ridiculous oreo-flavoured drink. Actually, drink is not the right word: it was more like a huge melted ice cream with oreos in it. That lasted all of ten minutes (by which, I mean 5) once it came to the table. Fin wasn't too keen on the idea of a sugar coma and instead, opted for that Vietnamese classic, a bacon sandwich. It was a fine specimen, I must say and from the ensuing silence, I think Fin enjoyed it as well. That too was devoured at lightning speed. A couple of hours later, we headed out to meet a friend and for our last meal together in Vietnam. To mark this momentous occasion, we naturally went to a French cafe- tres normal. The night ended in an airplane themed bar, where all the staff were dressed as air stewards. And that, dear friends, was that for Vietnam.
Bangkok is like another world. Unfortunately for my hair, and general outward appearance, the heat and humidity is even more intense than in Saigon. It's lucky I'm not out here looking for male attention, because I have a feeling that I would scare the living daylights out of any poor, unsuspecting objects of my desire. Having made some strategic allies on the plane (this was when I still looked vaguely normal), I was at least confident that I would eventually make it to my hostel and not end up wandering some back alley like the Wild Woman of the West. My comrades and I spent the afternoon and evening together, sampling the delights of the famous Khao San Road: gangs of giant, loud lads in singlets, girls in barely-there shorts, older gents prowling around for young meat- a real treat. Well, less treat, more awful, seedy horror. I called it a night and thankfully found my way back to the hostel without a single wrong turn! Be proud, dear parents.
As I said, yesterday was full of walking. 7 hours to be precise. In 32 degree heat to be even more precise. Despite that, it was very enjoyable to see the city alone but I must have looked like a total madwoman: every time I checked the map and realised I was exactly where I wanted to be, I couldn't help but grin and nod in self-congratulation. Sometimes I even threw in a little celebratory hand gesture. No wonder no-one spoke to me all day. The only time I had a slight panic was when I couldn't find the way out of a shopping centre, but we've all been there, right?
Hope everyone is well and in the festive spirit!
Thursday, 12 December 2013
Saigon, farewell, aufwiedersehen, goodbye....
Yes, that was another 'Sound of Music' related element for you, and quite an excellent one, in my humble opinion. If anyone hasn't seen that film, consider your new awareness of it my Christmas gift to you. You're eternally welcome.
So here we are in Saigon, and today is the last day of our Vietnam adventure. We had a (distinctly urine free) bus trip here from Mui Ne, which felt like it lasted forever but was actually over in the blink of an eye-if a blink lasts 6 hours, that is. We had some fun pit stops along the way, one of which was more than a little worrying when, upon returning to the bus, one of the wheels appeared to be missing. I'm no expert, but I recall a wheel being quite a key element to the movement of a bus. So we had to hang around a Vietnamese service station for a while, which was nice. All the Germans on the bus were, of course, watching the mechanics go to work on the wheel-clearly, the love of watching any kind of construction or engineering remains firmly in tact even when they are so far from home. Finally we arrived at around 8.30 in the evening and dandered off to the hostel, where we were greeted with a banana and iced tea which delightful, as I was once again on the advanced stages of rumbling tum syndrome. After a dinner of noodle soup and a wander around, we crashed into a nice long sleep.
The next day was spent doing a little walking tour of Saigon. It is really a very big city. And humid, so very humid. Unfortunately both of us seem to have inherited the family trait of hair that doesn't withstand humidity so well, so over the day, our hair increased in volume (outwards and upwards) until we looked a bit like we were wearing small beefeater hats. But it was just our hair. We saw lots of old buildings which were, you know, old and stuff-very nice! The walk ended with a drink in very extravagant style; in a rooftop bar for which were completely and utterly underdressed. We paid through the nose for a beer and a coffee (I sounded a lot like my dad when we got the bill: "How much?!") but the view was spectacular so it was almost, maybe worth it. We took as long as humanly possible to drink our drinks and then sat for while longer, probably an inappropriately long time, just looking at the view. The rest of the afternoon was spent just meandering, checking out the city and burning nicely in the heat. All of these effort-heavy activities were carried out with one specific purpose in mind: to get as hungry possible. Strange aim, right? Wrong! There was method in the madness, for once in my life! That evening was the Mack Daddy of activities: a 4.5 hour long street food tour of the city, courtesy of my dear sister and aunt.
As pick up time rolled around, I could have chewed the leg off a chair, to be quite honest, but I abstained and waited patiently for all the goodness to get in my bellllly. We were picked up by two young chicas on motorbikes (I think this was the highlight of the whole experience for Fin) and zoomed off to our first stop, where we met the other people on the tour, i.e. Australia. The mother and son pair we sat next to were quite a treat, the son revelling in the stories his loving mother was telling about how often they had been asked if they were a couple. It was especially good for him as he is in that stage in life where everything, ever, is awkward. Fin should count himself lucky that he is not 16 and embarrassed by life (and his big cousin) anymore , which I did not hesitate to remind him. That comment was met with a look which said 'You will never stop embarrassing me'. Our first dish was a soup called bun bo hue: pretty much beef noodle soup but more delicious than you are probably imagining right now. I won't go into great detail about the whole tour, but other culinary delights included BBQ goat breast, grilled frogs, prawns, clams in a magical broth of ginger, chilli and lemongrass, quails (Fin thinks they were bats. I chose to ignore this remark), scallops and coconut jelly. However delicious all of these things were, the memory of them will forever be eclipsed by the single weirdest thing I have ever tried. Let me help you imagine it: think of a duck egg, a boiled duck egg, and put it there in front of you on the imaginary table. Then tap the top and open that bad boy up. Take a peek inside and yes, there is some yellow and some white bits. So far so good. But wait a second, what, pray tell, is that dark grey bit lurking in the middle? Grab your spoon and have a poke around-any ideas yet? Look closer and you will see the teeny tiny beginnings of a beak, some things which look uncannily like feathers and some little wing like shapes. Oh yes yes, nothing other than a baby duck, which in normal circumstances would not be wholly abnormal to find in a duck egg, but when you hope to eat the egg, it is quite an unpleasant surprise. I probably should have refused to eat it, but I was feeling very gung-ho so I did indeed have a few spoonfuls of it. The taste was very bizarre and quite impossible to describe. The texture was like putting hardboiled egg, pate and a little bit of raw spaghetti in your mouth at the same time, then chomping the Dickens out of it and forcing it down your food pipe. Fertilised duck egg, it transpires, is not my favourite food. That was more or less the end of the tour: we were taken back to our hostel where we fell into a food coma and had nightmares of being killed by legions of duck embryos.
Yesterday was spent recovering from the previous evening. We skipped breakfast and went out for a wander in the sun, ending up in an afternoon viewing of 'The Hunger Games', which was actually very enjoyable. I will say one thing, though: the Vietnamese are chatty Cathys in the cinema. Those of you who know me well can imagine how much I loved that (i.e. not at all). The evening was spent drinking beer, people watching and eavesdropping on a very posh chap and his Vietnamese girlfriend. Apparently, his mumm-ehhhh laaahhhves her (to us normal people, his mummy (!!) loves her). Before we knew it, we were tucked up safely in bed, listening to the other girl in the dorm snoring like a bulldozer.
Today, our last day, will be spent shopping and getting our final fix of Vietnamese grub, until we part ways tomorrow. I won't get too nostalgic on you but I just wanted to sum up this month: Vietnam is beautiful, crazy, loud, delicious, intriguing, aromatic, and so much more. We've both loved it and have agreed that it's a place to come back to and explore other parts. I cannot recommend it enough, but it feels like it is on the verge of something huge (and not necessarily good), so get your butts over here before everyone else in the world beats you to it! Fin has done well to put up with me and I'm pretty sure that without him, I'd be lost somewhere in some random city, buying something from every person who tried to sell me stuff.
In a word, this month has been-drumroll please...VIETNAMAZING. HAHAHAHAHAHA! See you in Thailand!
So here we are in Saigon, and today is the last day of our Vietnam adventure. We had a (distinctly urine free) bus trip here from Mui Ne, which felt like it lasted forever but was actually over in the blink of an eye-if a blink lasts 6 hours, that is. We had some fun pit stops along the way, one of which was more than a little worrying when, upon returning to the bus, one of the wheels appeared to be missing. I'm no expert, but I recall a wheel being quite a key element to the movement of a bus. So we had to hang around a Vietnamese service station for a while, which was nice. All the Germans on the bus were, of course, watching the mechanics go to work on the wheel-clearly, the love of watching any kind of construction or engineering remains firmly in tact even when they are so far from home. Finally we arrived at around 8.30 in the evening and dandered off to the hostel, where we were greeted with a banana and iced tea which delightful, as I was once again on the advanced stages of rumbling tum syndrome. After a dinner of noodle soup and a wander around, we crashed into a nice long sleep.
The next day was spent doing a little walking tour of Saigon. It is really a very big city. And humid, so very humid. Unfortunately both of us seem to have inherited the family trait of hair that doesn't withstand humidity so well, so over the day, our hair increased in volume (outwards and upwards) until we looked a bit like we were wearing small beefeater hats. But it was just our hair. We saw lots of old buildings which were, you know, old and stuff-very nice! The walk ended with a drink in very extravagant style; in a rooftop bar for which were completely and utterly underdressed. We paid through the nose for a beer and a coffee (I sounded a lot like my dad when we got the bill: "How much?!") but the view was spectacular so it was almost, maybe worth it. We took as long as humanly possible to drink our drinks and then sat for while longer, probably an inappropriately long time, just looking at the view. The rest of the afternoon was spent just meandering, checking out the city and burning nicely in the heat. All of these effort-heavy activities were carried out with one specific purpose in mind: to get as hungry possible. Strange aim, right? Wrong! There was method in the madness, for once in my life! That evening was the Mack Daddy of activities: a 4.5 hour long street food tour of the city, courtesy of my dear sister and aunt.
As pick up time rolled around, I could have chewed the leg off a chair, to be quite honest, but I abstained and waited patiently for all the goodness to get in my bellllly. We were picked up by two young chicas on motorbikes (I think this was the highlight of the whole experience for Fin) and zoomed off to our first stop, where we met the other people on the tour, i.e. Australia. The mother and son pair we sat next to were quite a treat, the son revelling in the stories his loving mother was telling about how often they had been asked if they were a couple. It was especially good for him as he is in that stage in life where everything, ever, is awkward. Fin should count himself lucky that he is not 16 and embarrassed by life (and his big cousin) anymore , which I did not hesitate to remind him. That comment was met with a look which said 'You will never stop embarrassing me'. Our first dish was a soup called bun bo hue: pretty much beef noodle soup but more delicious than you are probably imagining right now. I won't go into great detail about the whole tour, but other culinary delights included BBQ goat breast, grilled frogs, prawns, clams in a magical broth of ginger, chilli and lemongrass, quails (Fin thinks they were bats. I chose to ignore this remark), scallops and coconut jelly. However delicious all of these things were, the memory of them will forever be eclipsed by the single weirdest thing I have ever tried. Let me help you imagine it: think of a duck egg, a boiled duck egg, and put it there in front of you on the imaginary table. Then tap the top and open that bad boy up. Take a peek inside and yes, there is some yellow and some white bits. So far so good. But wait a second, what, pray tell, is that dark grey bit lurking in the middle? Grab your spoon and have a poke around-any ideas yet? Look closer and you will see the teeny tiny beginnings of a beak, some things which look uncannily like feathers and some little wing like shapes. Oh yes yes, nothing other than a baby duck, which in normal circumstances would not be wholly abnormal to find in a duck egg, but when you hope to eat the egg, it is quite an unpleasant surprise. I probably should have refused to eat it, but I was feeling very gung-ho so I did indeed have a few spoonfuls of it. The taste was very bizarre and quite impossible to describe. The texture was like putting hardboiled egg, pate and a little bit of raw spaghetti in your mouth at the same time, then chomping the Dickens out of it and forcing it down your food pipe. Fertilised duck egg, it transpires, is not my favourite food. That was more or less the end of the tour: we were taken back to our hostel where we fell into a food coma and had nightmares of being killed by legions of duck embryos.
Yesterday was spent recovering from the previous evening. We skipped breakfast and went out for a wander in the sun, ending up in an afternoon viewing of 'The Hunger Games', which was actually very enjoyable. I will say one thing, though: the Vietnamese are chatty Cathys in the cinema. Those of you who know me well can imagine how much I loved that (i.e. not at all). The evening was spent drinking beer, people watching and eavesdropping on a very posh chap and his Vietnamese girlfriend. Apparently, his mumm-ehhhh laaahhhves her (to us normal people, his mummy (!!) loves her). Before we knew it, we were tucked up safely in bed, listening to the other girl in the dorm snoring like a bulldozer.
Today, our last day, will be spent shopping and getting our final fix of Vietnamese grub, until we part ways tomorrow. I won't get too nostalgic on you but I just wanted to sum up this month: Vietnam is beautiful, crazy, loud, delicious, intriguing, aromatic, and so much more. We've both loved it and have agreed that it's a place to come back to and explore other parts. I cannot recommend it enough, but it feels like it is on the verge of something huge (and not necessarily good), so get your butts over here before everyone else in the world beats you to it! Fin has done well to put up with me and I'm pretty sure that without him, I'd be lost somewhere in some random city, buying something from every person who tried to sell me stuff.
In a word, this month has been-drumroll please...VIETNAMAZING. HAHAHAHAHAHA! See you in Thailand!
Monday, 9 December 2013
Who needs rollercoasters when you have a bus?
Rollercoasters? Forget it. Bungee jumping? For little girls. Skydiving? Borrrrrring! If you're looking for the ultimate in extreme sports, get on a mini bus in Vietnam-it's a thrill seekers dream. Too many people packed, and I mean PACKED, into a mini bus and taken on a ride from a town high in the mountains to a town at the coast. Ok, that doesn't sound so crazy, but throw in the elements of no seatbelts, air conditioning that felt like a dog was breathing on you and a road that was more pot hole than actual road and you have a recipe for a wild time. Also, the driver was quite insane. I was a little worried about the lack of seatbelts but actually, we were all sitting so close to each other that there was no chance of breaking free from the mass and being catapulted into the air. If you imagine a human game of tetris, you're along the right lines of the close proximity of one person to the next. There was no choice but to get cosy with your new neighbour which, as Brits, goes against everything we hold sacred (namely, the delight in sitting alone on public transport whenever possible so as not to have to talk to actual other human beings). A happy 6 hours!
We arrived in Mui Ne around 6pm and hopped on the back of a couple of mopeds to go to our hotel. We had a lovely detour along the main street before our drivers realised we were going in completely the wrong direction. Clearly, they were from the same school of orientation as my good self. We eventually found our place (Sunrise Village-yes, that is the name of the hotel and not the name of a 1970s soap opera) and were pretty much in and out within 30 seconds because my stomach was being very vocal about how empty it was feeling. Quite the belly operatics. We ate in a shack around the corner with, surprise surprise, most of Russia. Russians, I have realised, go quite a curious shade of red when they are released into the sun. And they appear to have some quality to their skin whereby they not only go red, but also shiny. So yes, we ate surrounded by a lot of red shiny people with mullets and a penchant for early 90s fashion.
The first full day in Mui Ne was relaxing as, errr, whales (like, whale music-you know what I mean, right?). We hit the beach and marvelled at all the shiny Russians, glistening in the sun like big, red, hairy rubies in speedos, and I had a swim in the sea. Fin didn't and later justified it by telling me that the South China Sea is essentially one massive sewerage tank, just stewing away, festering and slopping around in the heat. So then I went and had a bath in antibacterial handwash. Not really, but I was quite liberal with it for the rest of the afternoon. The rest of the day was similarly lazy-fascinating, I know.
Today, we did basically the only sightseeing that Mui Ne has to offer: some big sand dunes. As if that weren't thrilling enough, I'd also read that it's possible to go sledding down them, so with it being December, we decided to embrace the Christmas spirit and go sledging. We hired a motorcycle from the hotel and drove off into the unknown. It's pretty much one road to get there but I was navigating, so we could have ended up almost anywhere. Luckily, and quite astoundingly, we made it there with no problems-except for the minor point that the bike's brakes left a lot to be desired when it came to efficiency-but no accidents, so all was well. The sand dunes were mighty impressive, I must say. We were like Laurence and Lauren of Arabia, except neither of us is from Arabia, or called Laurence or Lauren. We were also not swathed in great, white robes. But apart from that, exactly the same. After being accosted by a monkey who was fiddling with his giblets and didn't care who the heck was watching, we took a couple of sand sleds (pieces of plastic) up the dunes, ready for the big fun! Well, it was entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons: it was impossible to get any speed going down and so it looked totally pathetic and slow, which was hilarious to watch. Also, it's a surefire way to clog every orifice of your body with burning sand, which is not the most comfortable of experiences. We hung around, watching the people 'russian' all over the place (like, rushing all over the place-get it???) and encasing ourselves in a layer of sand which will undoubtedly prove impossible to get rid of. When we felt that yes, sand is now literally everywhere on our bodies, we called it a day and had a glorious ride home, rewarding ourselves with a victory beer at the end.
We leave for Saigon tomorrow, where our trip will come to an end and we'll part ways. No wonder Fin is so chipper!
We arrived in Mui Ne around 6pm and hopped on the back of a couple of mopeds to go to our hotel. We had a lovely detour along the main street before our drivers realised we were going in completely the wrong direction. Clearly, they were from the same school of orientation as my good self. We eventually found our place (Sunrise Village-yes, that is the name of the hotel and not the name of a 1970s soap opera) and were pretty much in and out within 30 seconds because my stomach was being very vocal about how empty it was feeling. Quite the belly operatics. We ate in a shack around the corner with, surprise surprise, most of Russia. Russians, I have realised, go quite a curious shade of red when they are released into the sun. And they appear to have some quality to their skin whereby they not only go red, but also shiny. So yes, we ate surrounded by a lot of red shiny people with mullets and a penchant for early 90s fashion.
The first full day in Mui Ne was relaxing as, errr, whales (like, whale music-you know what I mean, right?). We hit the beach and marvelled at all the shiny Russians, glistening in the sun like big, red, hairy rubies in speedos, and I had a swim in the sea. Fin didn't and later justified it by telling me that the South China Sea is essentially one massive sewerage tank, just stewing away, festering and slopping around in the heat. So then I went and had a bath in antibacterial handwash. Not really, but I was quite liberal with it for the rest of the afternoon. The rest of the day was similarly lazy-fascinating, I know.
Today, we did basically the only sightseeing that Mui Ne has to offer: some big sand dunes. As if that weren't thrilling enough, I'd also read that it's possible to go sledding down them, so with it being December, we decided to embrace the Christmas spirit and go sledging. We hired a motorcycle from the hotel and drove off into the unknown. It's pretty much one road to get there but I was navigating, so we could have ended up almost anywhere. Luckily, and quite astoundingly, we made it there with no problems-except for the minor point that the bike's brakes left a lot to be desired when it came to efficiency-but no accidents, so all was well. The sand dunes were mighty impressive, I must say. We were like Laurence and Lauren of Arabia, except neither of us is from Arabia, or called Laurence or Lauren. We were also not swathed in great, white robes. But apart from that, exactly the same. After being accosted by a monkey who was fiddling with his giblets and didn't care who the heck was watching, we took a couple of sand sleds (pieces of plastic) up the dunes, ready for the big fun! Well, it was entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons: it was impossible to get any speed going down and so it looked totally pathetic and slow, which was hilarious to watch. Also, it's a surefire way to clog every orifice of your body with burning sand, which is not the most comfortable of experiences. We hung around, watching the people 'russian' all over the place (like, rushing all over the place-get it???) and encasing ourselves in a layer of sand which will undoubtedly prove impossible to get rid of. When we felt that yes, sand is now literally everywhere on our bodies, we called it a day and had a glorious ride home, rewarding ourselves with a victory beer at the end.
We leave for Saigon tomorrow, where our trip will come to an end and we'll part ways. No wonder Fin is so chipper!
Thursday, 5 December 2013
"No, I don't really want a 4m python around my ne....oh, ok, nevermind"
Prepare yourselves, fair reader(s), this might be a bit of a long entry: amazing what can happen in two short days on the back of a motorbike driven by a mad man. As a famous singing nun once, err, sang; let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start (to those of you familiar with 'The Sound of Music', I apologise for getting 'Do Re Mi' stuck in your heads)...
The second day of our motorbike tour was ram-jimmy-jammed, mainly with a mix of terror and amazement. After breakfast in the hotel, we set off on the bikes, heading for a waterfall. Our guide, Minh ("like the same as Ho Chi Minh, but without the first and second bits"), had said that we could swim in the waterfall, should the mood overwhelm us. However, he also said that it would be quite cold and not really very sunny: every inch the salesman. So, it's fair to say we were less than brimming with enthusiasm at the prospect. When we got there, it was certainly beautiful-there was water falling all over the place-and despite saying we had a choice when it came to swimming, it transpired that the choice was swim or swim, or maybe even swim. We went for the third one and had a splash around for a while-it was very 'Mysterious Girl', except with less Peter Andre and faux Jamaican rappers. Having not dried off in the slightest, we put got dressed and back on the bikes for a very breezy ride to our next stop.
The next stop was an unadvertised surprise stop, and what a hoot it was. We pulled over at the side of the road ande ta daaaa, here was a man with a couple of pythons and a load of scorpions, all for us to enjoy. Again, the choice of what to do was somewhat limited. Actually, less limited, more non-existent, and within 2 minutes I was paralysed with fear with a gigantic snake around my head. Minh spotted a photo opportunity and put the head in my hand and held it close to my mouth for a kiss. Hilarious fun for all the family. Fin wasn't let off, either, and the python was soon plonked on his shoulders. This, evidently, was simply a starter before the main course, the overture before the show, the terrible roadie before the concert: the main event was indeed a whopping great 4m snake. I can't really recall any feeling, but luckily (!), Minh got his mits on my camera and documented that milestone in a series of photos worthy of the place above the fireplace. Or in the fire itself, either way (but mainly the latter). A scorpion also joined the party, having a little crawl around on my hand, while Fin stayed a manly 1m away from the whole fandango. Minh was laughing like a drain the whole time.
We drove and stopped and drove and stopped various times until we reached our destination for the day- a small village near a place called Lak Lake-and waiting for us, two big grey elephants, poised and ready for two ignorant Europeans to climb aboard. They are big, gorgeous, wrinkly beasties (the elephants, not us) and the experience didn't disappoint. How to describe it? It was ele-PHANTASTIC! Hahahaha-I've been saving that one up, just for you. It was wonderful though, plodding around and sloshing through the water. I wanted to give mine a big hug on the head, but that would have probably not been completely normal, so I abstained and settled for rubbing it behind the ears. I'm not totally sure if that is quite correct, either, now I think about it. That night, following a cracking dinner of ALL THE MEAT, we stayed in a traditional long house and prepared ourselves for the long day ahead.
I had a lovely sleep in the hut, but Fin kept seeing spiders every time he shut his eyes, so he didn't sleep quite as well. It was an absolutely beautiful morning, so the prospect of a day on the bike was looking very attractive. We zipped off and climbed up higher and higher into the mountains: now, I'm lucky to have seen some stunning places in my years on earth thus far- Wolfsburg, Charleloi, Westen-Super-Mare to name but a few-but the landscape today just had the edge. It's hard to describe it but it was spectacular. The road, however, was not, blessed with more potholes than a teenager recovering from a severe case of acne, so it was pretty slow going for a while. Despite the resulting pain in my bum, the scenery more than made up for it and I did a lot of gaping in amazement, which also provided some extra protein for the day in the form of various small flies. On the way to Dalat, our final destination, we stopped at a Buddhist temple and a silk factory. My my, that's an interesting process (genuinely)-I had no idea how silk was made, and now I do! You're welcome for that insightful musing, by the way.
Finally, after a long old day on the bikes and a couple of near breakdowns for Fin's, we reached Dalat at around 4pm. We said our farewells to Minh, and farewell to the cash that he pretty much demanded as a tip, and collapsed into a heap on the beds. It was certainly an interesting few days and we came across some colourful characters (an old German sex tourist, for example). Now I have decided that I will learn to ride a motorbike and travel the world, swishing my hair like a foxy biker chick every time I take off my helmet. Sadly, I didn't achieve that on this trip. My hair was painfully similar to that of 14 year old boy's. Great.
The second day of our motorbike tour was ram-jimmy-jammed, mainly with a mix of terror and amazement. After breakfast in the hotel, we set off on the bikes, heading for a waterfall. Our guide, Minh ("like the same as Ho Chi Minh, but without the first and second bits"), had said that we could swim in the waterfall, should the mood overwhelm us. However, he also said that it would be quite cold and not really very sunny: every inch the salesman. So, it's fair to say we were less than brimming with enthusiasm at the prospect. When we got there, it was certainly beautiful-there was water falling all over the place-and despite saying we had a choice when it came to swimming, it transpired that the choice was swim or swim, or maybe even swim. We went for the third one and had a splash around for a while-it was very 'Mysterious Girl', except with less Peter Andre and faux Jamaican rappers. Having not dried off in the slightest, we put got dressed and back on the bikes for a very breezy ride to our next stop.
The next stop was an unadvertised surprise stop, and what a hoot it was. We pulled over at the side of the road ande ta daaaa, here was a man with a couple of pythons and a load of scorpions, all for us to enjoy. Again, the choice of what to do was somewhat limited. Actually, less limited, more non-existent, and within 2 minutes I was paralysed with fear with a gigantic snake around my head. Minh spotted a photo opportunity and put the head in my hand and held it close to my mouth for a kiss. Hilarious fun for all the family. Fin wasn't let off, either, and the python was soon plonked on his shoulders. This, evidently, was simply a starter before the main course, the overture before the show, the terrible roadie before the concert: the main event was indeed a whopping great 4m snake. I can't really recall any feeling, but luckily (!), Minh got his mits on my camera and documented that milestone in a series of photos worthy of the place above the fireplace. Or in the fire itself, either way (but mainly the latter). A scorpion also joined the party, having a little crawl around on my hand, while Fin stayed a manly 1m away from the whole fandango. Minh was laughing like a drain the whole time.
We drove and stopped and drove and stopped various times until we reached our destination for the day- a small village near a place called Lak Lake-and waiting for us, two big grey elephants, poised and ready for two ignorant Europeans to climb aboard. They are big, gorgeous, wrinkly beasties (the elephants, not us) and the experience didn't disappoint. How to describe it? It was ele-PHANTASTIC! Hahahaha-I've been saving that one up, just for you. It was wonderful though, plodding around and sloshing through the water. I wanted to give mine a big hug on the head, but that would have probably not been completely normal, so I abstained and settled for rubbing it behind the ears. I'm not totally sure if that is quite correct, either, now I think about it. That night, following a cracking dinner of ALL THE MEAT, we stayed in a traditional long house and prepared ourselves for the long day ahead.
I had a lovely sleep in the hut, but Fin kept seeing spiders every time he shut his eyes, so he didn't sleep quite as well. It was an absolutely beautiful morning, so the prospect of a day on the bike was looking very attractive. We zipped off and climbed up higher and higher into the mountains: now, I'm lucky to have seen some stunning places in my years on earth thus far- Wolfsburg, Charleloi, Westen-Super-Mare to name but a few-but the landscape today just had the edge. It's hard to describe it but it was spectacular. The road, however, was not, blessed with more potholes than a teenager recovering from a severe case of acne, so it was pretty slow going for a while. Despite the resulting pain in my bum, the scenery more than made up for it and I did a lot of gaping in amazement, which also provided some extra protein for the day in the form of various small flies. On the way to Dalat, our final destination, we stopped at a Buddhist temple and a silk factory. My my, that's an interesting process (genuinely)-I had no idea how silk was made, and now I do! You're welcome for that insightful musing, by the way.
Finally, after a long old day on the bikes and a couple of near breakdowns for Fin's, we reached Dalat at around 4pm. We said our farewells to Minh, and farewell to the cash that he pretty much demanded as a tip, and collapsed into a heap on the beds. It was certainly an interesting few days and we came across some colourful characters (an old German sex tourist, for example). Now I have decided that I will learn to ride a motorbike and travel the world, swishing my hair like a foxy biker chick every time I take off my helmet. Sadly, I didn't achieve that on this trip. My hair was painfully similar to that of 14 year old boy's. Great.
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
The (sitting on a back of a) motorcycle diaries
Hello and greetings from Buon Ma Thout, the capital of the Central Highlands.
We have had a funny few days (when is that not the case) and I've swiped Fin's tablet to tell you about all the high jinks, japes and insulting Vietnamese men.
Where did I leave off? I think it was in Hoi An- I know I've said it before but it really is an absolute delight. You could eat there for days and never eat the same thing. That's what I did, and is indeed my intention for the rest of the trip. Scrap that, life! Give me all the animal insides you want-I'm sure they can't be so offal. BOOM BOOM! I hope someone understood that joke, otherwise I now probably come across as slightly unhinged, which is completely uncharacteristic as we all know. We spent our last day waiting 8 hours for a taxi to the train station, which translated into a lot of drinks and pool in various cafés. Not too shabby, especially given that, surprise surprise, it was raining. When the sacred moment finally arrived, we were bundled off to Danang train station with four Kiwi girls. Fin's dream, perhaps? Mais non! They were completely insane and talked so much even I couldn't get a word in, so Fin spent the ride looking bewildered and that he might jump out of the window at some point. Upon arriving in Danang, after breaking the mini van taxi, we were treated to over an hour of saxophone Christmas classics on the loudspeaker in a station which smelt very strongly of artificial cinnamon. Finally, the Christmas spirit had reached us! The train itself was not as luxurious as we'd hoped. Fin even had a lovely gift of what he thought might be half a bottle of wee on his bed, so we were pleased as punch to be spending the next 10 hours in this glorified toilet with beds.
We arrived in Nha Trang at around 7.30am, bright eyed and bushy tailed, as you can imagine. We decided to forego the taxi mafia in favour for a nice stroll to our hotel, and pretty hastily regretted the decision as, even at that time, it was more humid than our Northern European temperature centres were used to. Despite that, we powered through and sweated our way to a café for breakfast, before heading to our hotel (The Ruby Hotel-every bit as glamorous as it sounds, I can assure you). We dumped our stuff, wolfed the rest of the Oreos and peanut M&Ms we had bought as midnight train snacks and ventured out into the town. Lordski, it is weirdski in the extremeski. For those who aren't aware, that was some perfect Russian right there. Translated, it means 'Lord, it is weird in the extreme'. It is like an entire Russian town went on holiday to Vietnam: but literally the whole town, buildings and restaurants included. Russian is flippin EVERYWHERE and almost every white person you meet on the beach is from Russia. I can tell you with great authority that speedos are still very much 'du jour' with Russian men, especially ones which are a bit on the tight side so their beautifully sculpted bellies tumble over the top like a cascading waterfall of jiggly flesh. It's a sight to behold. Not a nice sight, but a sight all the same.
Close to our hotel we were stopped in our tracks by a mad man on a motorbike who launched into a full scale comedy sales routine, complete with poetry, slang and insults, all delivered in a Vietnamese/cockney accent, if you can even imagine such a thing. Turns out he was an 'Easy Rider'-guys who take tourists on tours (astounding, I know) on motorbikes. Without really knowing what was happening , we were on his bike and in his cousin's restaurant discussing the details of his offer over a free coffee. He (Papa Hanh) was certainly quite a character and his English vocabulary one of the more exotic I've come across, but he seemed like a good guy, so we said we'd have a think about doing a tour with him. We'd THINK about it. Remember that detail.
After wandering around and deciding that Nha Trang is quite ugly and simply baffling, I thought to enquire with another Easy Rider group. Another enthusiastic salesman, who kept calling me Fin's wife (disturbing), but this guy had a licence, which totally sold it to me-obviously it's impossible for people to get fake licences to show to unknowing tourists. After a quick deliberation and google search, we picked the second company and I went to sort the details. Done and dusted, easy peasy. Until I got back to the hotel. Old Papa Hanh had followed me back to the hotel and asked whether we had decided what we were going to do: I was rumbled. The sneaky Papa had seen me sort the other tour and wanted revenge. His revenge mainly consisted of a lot of incomprehensible swearing and hand gestures, probably not very nice hand gestures, and then off he went. Gutted we didn't go with him! The rest of the day was spent marvelling at the weirdness of the town, eating Pringles and watching some English guys try to chat up some Norwegian girls who were are lot more attractive than them. For you nosy parkers, we left so I don't know the outcome of their efforts. I expect they were not successful.
Today we had an early start, accompanied by some rousing Communist music outside, and went to the tour office. After brekkie, Fin was given his bike (because he, apparently, can ride a motorbike) and I was shown the bike which I would be sitting on, holding on for dear life. And that was it, we were off! It was a great trip, up into the central highlands, with regular stops to eat, drink, look at things and say 'ahhhh, interesting' and 'wow, that's fascinating '. They genuinely were, though: here's a fun fact for you-raw cocoa beans are surrounded by a white, slimy covering which you can eat and it tastes like mango! Take that one to the pub quiz, why don't you (although the question would have to be mighty specific for that to be the answer)? We were on the road for about 6 or 7 hours and it was great. Fin looked like a proper dude on his bike and I looked every inch the elegant, exotic lady, swinging my leg over the side and shuffling my arse to get in the right sitting position. High heels would have been ideal in my situation. We are off out for tea with the guide in a bit and then tomorrow it's onward and upward, and onto an elephant. Yes, an elephant. Could be interesting.
We have had a funny few days (when is that not the case) and I've swiped Fin's tablet to tell you about all the high jinks, japes and insulting Vietnamese men.
Where did I leave off? I think it was in Hoi An- I know I've said it before but it really is an absolute delight. You could eat there for days and never eat the same thing. That's what I did, and is indeed my intention for the rest of the trip. Scrap that, life! Give me all the animal insides you want-I'm sure they can't be so offal. BOOM BOOM! I hope someone understood that joke, otherwise I now probably come across as slightly unhinged, which is completely uncharacteristic as we all know. We spent our last day waiting 8 hours for a taxi to the train station, which translated into a lot of drinks and pool in various cafés. Not too shabby, especially given that, surprise surprise, it was raining. When the sacred moment finally arrived, we were bundled off to Danang train station with four Kiwi girls. Fin's dream, perhaps? Mais non! They were completely insane and talked so much even I couldn't get a word in, so Fin spent the ride looking bewildered and that he might jump out of the window at some point. Upon arriving in Danang, after breaking the mini van taxi, we were treated to over an hour of saxophone Christmas classics on the loudspeaker in a station which smelt very strongly of artificial cinnamon. Finally, the Christmas spirit had reached us! The train itself was not as luxurious as we'd hoped. Fin even had a lovely gift of what he thought might be half a bottle of wee on his bed, so we were pleased as punch to be spending the next 10 hours in this glorified toilet with beds.
We arrived in Nha Trang at around 7.30am, bright eyed and bushy tailed, as you can imagine. We decided to forego the taxi mafia in favour for a nice stroll to our hotel, and pretty hastily regretted the decision as, even at that time, it was more humid than our Northern European temperature centres were used to. Despite that, we powered through and sweated our way to a café for breakfast, before heading to our hotel (The Ruby Hotel-every bit as glamorous as it sounds, I can assure you). We dumped our stuff, wolfed the rest of the Oreos and peanut M&Ms we had bought as midnight train snacks and ventured out into the town. Lordski, it is weirdski in the extremeski. For those who aren't aware, that was some perfect Russian right there. Translated, it means 'Lord, it is weird in the extreme'. It is like an entire Russian town went on holiday to Vietnam: but literally the whole town, buildings and restaurants included. Russian is flippin EVERYWHERE and almost every white person you meet on the beach is from Russia. I can tell you with great authority that speedos are still very much 'du jour' with Russian men, especially ones which are a bit on the tight side so their beautifully sculpted bellies tumble over the top like a cascading waterfall of jiggly flesh. It's a sight to behold. Not a nice sight, but a sight all the same.
Close to our hotel we were stopped in our tracks by a mad man on a motorbike who launched into a full scale comedy sales routine, complete with poetry, slang and insults, all delivered in a Vietnamese/cockney accent, if you can even imagine such a thing. Turns out he was an 'Easy Rider'-guys who take tourists on tours (astounding, I know) on motorbikes. Without really knowing what was happening , we were on his bike and in his cousin's restaurant discussing the details of his offer over a free coffee. He (Papa Hanh) was certainly quite a character and his English vocabulary one of the more exotic I've come across, but he seemed like a good guy, so we said we'd have a think about doing a tour with him. We'd THINK about it. Remember that detail.
After wandering around and deciding that Nha Trang is quite ugly and simply baffling, I thought to enquire with another Easy Rider group. Another enthusiastic salesman, who kept calling me Fin's wife (disturbing), but this guy had a licence, which totally sold it to me-obviously it's impossible for people to get fake licences to show to unknowing tourists. After a quick deliberation and google search, we picked the second company and I went to sort the details. Done and dusted, easy peasy. Until I got back to the hotel. Old Papa Hanh had followed me back to the hotel and asked whether we had decided what we were going to do: I was rumbled. The sneaky Papa had seen me sort the other tour and wanted revenge. His revenge mainly consisted of a lot of incomprehensible swearing and hand gestures, probably not very nice hand gestures, and then off he went. Gutted we didn't go with him! The rest of the day was spent marvelling at the weirdness of the town, eating Pringles and watching some English guys try to chat up some Norwegian girls who were are lot more attractive than them. For you nosy parkers, we left so I don't know the outcome of their efforts. I expect they were not successful.
Today we had an early start, accompanied by some rousing Communist music outside, and went to the tour office. After brekkie, Fin was given his bike (because he, apparently, can ride a motorbike) and I was shown the bike which I would be sitting on, holding on for dear life. And that was it, we were off! It was a great trip, up into the central highlands, with regular stops to eat, drink, look at things and say 'ahhhh, interesting' and 'wow, that's fascinating '. They genuinely were, though: here's a fun fact for you-raw cocoa beans are surrounded by a white, slimy covering which you can eat and it tastes like mango! Take that one to the pub quiz, why don't you (although the question would have to be mighty specific for that to be the answer)? We were on the road for about 6 or 7 hours and it was great. Fin looked like a proper dude on his bike and I looked every inch the elegant, exotic lady, swinging my leg over the side and shuffling my arse to get in the right sitting position. High heels would have been ideal in my situation. We are off out for tea with the guide in a bit and then tomorrow it's onward and upward, and onto an elephant. Yes, an elephant. Could be interesting.
Saturday, 30 November 2013
Ooooops!
So it would appear that I'm not as tech savvy as we all thought:having written quite a long post earlier, I've only gone and deleted the ruddy thing. Good work!
I can't remember exactly what I wrote but I can certainly give the gist:
1. Yesterday Fin and I did a very cool cooking course. We learnt how to make four very delicious things which I will probably reproduce in a shambolic and embarrassingly inaccurate fashion upon my return. The course was led by a indescribably cute vietnamese chef and a translator/guide, who, for some reason, found Fin and I pretty amusing. It was definitely a case of laughing at and not with. But it was a great day nonetheless.
2. Today, as it wasn't apocalyptic rain, we decided to hire mopeds. Clearly nothing could go wrong. Except that it did. First, within 2 minutes of leaving the rental place, we managed to get split up and I somehow got lost and ended up doing a few laps of a very small loop. After a shamefully long time, I found my way back to the hotel where Fin was waiting, looking entirely unsurprised that I'd taken so long to get back.
We then whizzed off to the beach. It wasn't exactly tropical but nice to be outside the city all the same. As we were almost the only people on the beach, we were a prime target for little ladies selling all manner of useless stuff: toothpick holders, keyrings, Mentos, tiger balm-you name, they probably had something vaguely similar but theirs was likely to be better and 'very very good price' because apparently, 12pm on a windy beach in winter is happy hour! The two women certainly had the gift of the gab: I caved with one and bought some tiger balm (why, why, why? It's now just stinking everything out!) and the other one gave Fin some very excellent romance advice: he should have at least 3, preferably 5, girlfriends. I think he appreciated the wise words.
The next exploration involved another beach. Not the nicest beach ever and the guy looking after the free scooter parking place (well I thought it was free) decided that, actually, it wasn't free. When I refused to pay, we had a sort of argument-as much as is possible when neither of us had a clue about the other's language-and I ended up giving him significantly less than he wanted. I'm totally convinced he cursed me (lots of angry eyes, muttering and hand gestures) when I drove off, but apparently I'm being dramatic. Moi? Dramatic? I don't think so.
So that is a condensed version of what I wrote earlier. It was quite an epic one so I'm annoyed at my own technical incompetence but c'est la VIE-etnam (remembered that great joke,though).
I can't remember exactly what I wrote but I can certainly give the gist:
1. Yesterday Fin and I did a very cool cooking course. We learnt how to make four very delicious things which I will probably reproduce in a shambolic and embarrassingly inaccurate fashion upon my return. The course was led by a indescribably cute vietnamese chef and a translator/guide, who, for some reason, found Fin and I pretty amusing. It was definitely a case of laughing at and not with. But it was a great day nonetheless.
2. Today, as it wasn't apocalyptic rain, we decided to hire mopeds. Clearly nothing could go wrong. Except that it did. First, within 2 minutes of leaving the rental place, we managed to get split up and I somehow got lost and ended up doing a few laps of a very small loop. After a shamefully long time, I found my way back to the hotel where Fin was waiting, looking entirely unsurprised that I'd taken so long to get back.
We then whizzed off to the beach. It wasn't exactly tropical but nice to be outside the city all the same. As we were almost the only people on the beach, we were a prime target for little ladies selling all manner of useless stuff: toothpick holders, keyrings, Mentos, tiger balm-you name, they probably had something vaguely similar but theirs was likely to be better and 'very very good price' because apparently, 12pm on a windy beach in winter is happy hour! The two women certainly had the gift of the gab: I caved with one and bought some tiger balm (why, why, why? It's now just stinking everything out!) and the other one gave Fin some very excellent romance advice: he should have at least 3, preferably 5, girlfriends. I think he appreciated the wise words.
The next exploration involved another beach. Not the nicest beach ever and the guy looking after the free scooter parking place (well I thought it was free) decided that, actually, it wasn't free. When I refused to pay, we had a sort of argument-as much as is possible when neither of us had a clue about the other's language-and I ended up giving him significantly less than he wanted. I'm totally convinced he cursed me (lots of angry eyes, muttering and hand gestures) when I drove off, but apparently I'm being dramatic. Moi? Dramatic? I don't think so.
So that is a condensed version of what I wrote earlier. It was quite an epic one so I'm annoyed at my own technical incompetence but c'est la VIE-etnam (remembered that great joke,though).
Thursday, 28 November 2013
I eat too much? Thanks for that, tiny Vietnamese woman
Here we are in Hoi An and I must say, it is very beautiful indeed. Beautiful and full to the brim of British people. And rain. A lot of rain. We pretty much paddled home-it was almost like being on the beach in Scotland: water at your feet and also falling in copious amounts onto your head. It goes without saying that this is exactly what I dreamed my trip to Vietnam would be like.
We had another classic day of waiting around for transport yesterday: after a nice French breakfast with what I can only describe as an exceptional fruit salad, we hopped in a taxi that took us to quite a shifty looking travel agency. After our last encounter with a travel agency here, I was naturally somewhat sceptical about where we would end up. But we were bundled into a mini bus with two very French men and an old Vietnamese man. This, we thought, was our bus to Hoi An. But no, turns out it was yet another link in the travel chain. This little party bus went literally 1 minute round the corner and dropped us off at a café. There was a gaggle of unwashed Westerners outside, lots wearing baggy hippie trousers, so we knew we were in the right place. Seriously, the baggy trousers here are all over the shop! They seem to be the ultimate traveller accessory, along with some kind of bead/leather cuff that tries to say 'I am a man/woman of the world. Look at all these ethnic things I have!'. Actually they just scream 'I AM NOT FROM HERE' and gives them away immediately. Well, that and the fact that they are giants in comparison to all people in Vietnam. After waiting for an extra hour, we piled onto a crazy double decker sleeper bus with wifi (!!!) which I thought was the height of luxury until I got on and realised my seat had an odour not entirely dissimilar to that of urine. So that was a nice 4 hour journey.
We got to Hoi An at about 7 and were picked up by a taxi from the hotel which made us feel very important-the guy even had a sign. A special moment for us all, I think you'll agree. After dumping our stuff, we went on the hunt for food and found some incredible spring rolls and noodles. I can now confirm that it's possible to inhale spring rolls when you haven't eaten for 8 hours and have been trapped on a wee bus. We had a walk around the town which was all shiny and pretty and romantic, so very perfect for Fin and his very geeky cousin (me, in case you were wondering). We ended the day with a few games of pool and table football. All of which I lost.
Today was almost a total write off, thanks to the rain. We braved town for all of about 2 hours, which was more than enough time for a little Vietnamese lady to spot me and tell me that I have nice dimples and that I probably eat too much. We spent the afternoon looking at the rain and pondering the great mysteries of life, such as 'why is it raining so?' and 'rain, why must you torture me with your presence?'. We had a cracking dinner, though-pork ribs with satay sauce and sticky rice-and finished with a few beers and some good old fashioned card games.
We're doing a cooking course tomorrow so fingers crossed it won't be bucketing it down: the course includes a relaxing boat cruise. Watch this space!
We had another classic day of waiting around for transport yesterday: after a nice French breakfast with what I can only describe as an exceptional fruit salad, we hopped in a taxi that took us to quite a shifty looking travel agency. After our last encounter with a travel agency here, I was naturally somewhat sceptical about where we would end up. But we were bundled into a mini bus with two very French men and an old Vietnamese man. This, we thought, was our bus to Hoi An. But no, turns out it was yet another link in the travel chain. This little party bus went literally 1 minute round the corner and dropped us off at a café. There was a gaggle of unwashed Westerners outside, lots wearing baggy hippie trousers, so we knew we were in the right place. Seriously, the baggy trousers here are all over the shop! They seem to be the ultimate traveller accessory, along with some kind of bead/leather cuff that tries to say 'I am a man/woman of the world. Look at all these ethnic things I have!'. Actually they just scream 'I AM NOT FROM HERE' and gives them away immediately. Well, that and the fact that they are giants in comparison to all people in Vietnam. After waiting for an extra hour, we piled onto a crazy double decker sleeper bus with wifi (!!!) which I thought was the height of luxury until I got on and realised my seat had an odour not entirely dissimilar to that of urine. So that was a nice 4 hour journey.
We got to Hoi An at about 7 and were picked up by a taxi from the hotel which made us feel very important-the guy even had a sign. A special moment for us all, I think you'll agree. After dumping our stuff, we went on the hunt for food and found some incredible spring rolls and noodles. I can now confirm that it's possible to inhale spring rolls when you haven't eaten for 8 hours and have been trapped on a wee bus. We had a walk around the town which was all shiny and pretty and romantic, so very perfect for Fin and his very geeky cousin (me, in case you were wondering). We ended the day with a few games of pool and table football. All of which I lost.
Today was almost a total write off, thanks to the rain. We braved town for all of about 2 hours, which was more than enough time for a little Vietnamese lady to spot me and tell me that I have nice dimples and that I probably eat too much. We spent the afternoon looking at the rain and pondering the great mysteries of life, such as 'why is it raining so?' and 'rain, why must you torture me with your presence?'. We had a cracking dinner, though-pork ribs with satay sauce and sticky rice-and finished with a few beers and some good old fashioned card games.
We're doing a cooking course tomorrow so fingers crossed it won't be bucketing it down: the course includes a relaxing boat cruise. Watch this space!
Tuesday, 26 November 2013
...and he put the cat in the bag and tied up the top
Xin chao from Hué, ye olde imperial captial of Vietnam. We arrived a full day later than expected, thanks to the shifty shuffler travel agency we booked the bus tickets through. Our 'last day' in Hanoi was spent hanging around, eating and drinking a lot, basically just waiting for the bus. We were actually interviewed by some Vietnamese students who wanted to practice their English on us. Fin and I were pretty sure that they were about 14 but, no no, they were like 19 or 20. They got very giggly when Fin said he was 20-a nice little ego massage for him. I, on the other hand, again felt like a very gigantic clumsy oaf, especially when one of the girls sat right next to me to 'interview' me. It was less an interview, more just her telling me she likes to cook for her family and nodding politely every time I said something, which she clearly didn't understand at all!
We managed to get away from what could have been a verrrrry long conversation with the excuse that we were getting the bus soon. Technically true, but in reality, it actually didn't happen. We went to the street where the agency was to be greeted by the oh-so-comforting sight of the employees riding off into the night on their mopeds. I went into full panic mode, but was told to chill out and that everything would be fine. Everything was not fine! We waited for a good hour and no-one came: the only positive I could derive from the situation was that it felt a little bit like a 'Home Alone' situation, except a lot less fun. And there were no life sized cardboard Michael Jordans. Boooo. In the end, I booked us into a hotel and vowed to seek revenge on the agency the next day. They would rue the day they ever cheated me out of 50 big ones!
Dinner was a very interesting affair: it's quite possible that I once again consumed a part of a pig that is not necessarily on my 'must-eat' list. This time, intestines, which were deep fried so they resembled chicken nuggets, served with chilli dipping sauce and chips fried in coconut oil. Mmmm, coconutty chips. Sounds great, eh? (Just in case you weren't sure, that was thinly veiled sarcasm for you-the chips were beyond odd). After that culinary delight, I completely crashed: having a little nervous breakdown is certainly an effective way to tire yourself out.
The next day we were woken at 6am by a lovely sound of nature, namely a cockerel that was so loud I felt like it had snuck into our room in the night and was sitting on my head, waiting to alert me to the fact that the day, the wonderful day, had begun, so get up now please. And so it was time to face the proverbial music: I was off to the agency. Well, after a good breakfast, of course. Priorities. Worryingly, while we were having breakfast, we could see into the agency and the three guys in there had a little cat, which was promptly dumped into a bag, sealed off from the world and shoved in the corner of the office. That naturally did wonders for my nerves. So off we went to the cat murderers. And look, we survived! And we got our money back. However, there was no movement from the cat in the bag, so it wasn't a win for everyone.
Another day was spent waiting for a different mode of transport-this time, the train. It was a beautiful day in Hanoi and a fine way to bid farewell to this city which we had got to know very, very well indeed. Oh, and we had some bloody nice dim sum:they should call it dim YUM! Hahahaha-see what I did there? More of that comedy gold later. Anyway, fiiiiianlly at 7pm the train rolled out of Hanoi station on its way South. Fin and I had beds (beds is a very generous term) in a 6 person room and boy, it was cosy. The cherry on top of that cake? A snorer! Actually, the little dusting of icing sugar on the cherry appeared in the shape of a little chubby lad boarding the train at 5am (he wasn't alone, by the way-he had parents in tow) and preceding to watch some kind of very loud video on his dad's smart phone. Wow, kids are my favourite things ever. Truly a wonderful experience. We feasted on a picnic of Ritz crackers, Oreos and peanut M&Ms (no, I'm not giving away any of my culinary secrets-only a handful of talented people can come up with a menu so diverse, radical and delectable and I am one of them. Deal with it) and settled down for a 13 hour train trip to Hue.
Upon arrival, we walked down what I'm sure is the longest ever road to a little hotel and went upstairs to have a breakfast of kings: Ritz crackers, Oreos and peanut M&Ms. Having digested the gastronomical masterpiece, we toddled off to the imperial city: a very impressive site of old temples and pagodas from, errrrrm, the days of yore.
That was pretty much it from Hue-it's nice but nothing to write home about. Then again, it's basically one giant town-sized museum, so I'm sure a lot of people would tell you differently. Off to Hoi An tomorrow to eat my body weight in noodles for the next few days. I say that like I haven't been doing that since I arrived, which we all know is total nonsense.
As always, thanks for reading!
We managed to get away from what could have been a verrrrry long conversation with the excuse that we were getting the bus soon. Technically true, but in reality, it actually didn't happen. We went to the street where the agency was to be greeted by the oh-so-comforting sight of the employees riding off into the night on their mopeds. I went into full panic mode, but was told to chill out and that everything would be fine. Everything was not fine! We waited for a good hour and no-one came: the only positive I could derive from the situation was that it felt a little bit like a 'Home Alone' situation, except a lot less fun. And there were no life sized cardboard Michael Jordans. Boooo. In the end, I booked us into a hotel and vowed to seek revenge on the agency the next day. They would rue the day they ever cheated me out of 50 big ones!
Dinner was a very interesting affair: it's quite possible that I once again consumed a part of a pig that is not necessarily on my 'must-eat' list. This time, intestines, which were deep fried so they resembled chicken nuggets, served with chilli dipping sauce and chips fried in coconut oil. Mmmm, coconutty chips. Sounds great, eh? (Just in case you weren't sure, that was thinly veiled sarcasm for you-the chips were beyond odd). After that culinary delight, I completely crashed: having a little nervous breakdown is certainly an effective way to tire yourself out.
The next day we were woken at 6am by a lovely sound of nature, namely a cockerel that was so loud I felt like it had snuck into our room in the night and was sitting on my head, waiting to alert me to the fact that the day, the wonderful day, had begun, so get up now please. And so it was time to face the proverbial music: I was off to the agency. Well, after a good breakfast, of course. Priorities. Worryingly, while we were having breakfast, we could see into the agency and the three guys in there had a little cat, which was promptly dumped into a bag, sealed off from the world and shoved in the corner of the office. That naturally did wonders for my nerves. So off we went to the cat murderers. And look, we survived! And we got our money back. However, there was no movement from the cat in the bag, so it wasn't a win for everyone.
Another day was spent waiting for a different mode of transport-this time, the train. It was a beautiful day in Hanoi and a fine way to bid farewell to this city which we had got to know very, very well indeed. Oh, and we had some bloody nice dim sum:they should call it dim YUM! Hahahaha-see what I did there? More of that comedy gold later. Anyway, fiiiiianlly at 7pm the train rolled out of Hanoi station on its way South. Fin and I had beds (beds is a very generous term) in a 6 person room and boy, it was cosy. The cherry on top of that cake? A snorer! Actually, the little dusting of icing sugar on the cherry appeared in the shape of a little chubby lad boarding the train at 5am (he wasn't alone, by the way-he had parents in tow) and preceding to watch some kind of very loud video on his dad's smart phone. Wow, kids are my favourite things ever. Truly a wonderful experience. We feasted on a picnic of Ritz crackers, Oreos and peanut M&Ms (no, I'm not giving away any of my culinary secrets-only a handful of talented people can come up with a menu so diverse, radical and delectable and I am one of them. Deal with it) and settled down for a 13 hour train trip to Hue.
Upon arrival, we walked down what I'm sure is the longest ever road to a little hotel and went upstairs to have a breakfast of kings: Ritz crackers, Oreos and peanut M&Ms. Having digested the gastronomical masterpiece, we toddled off to the imperial city: a very impressive site of old temples and pagodas from, errrrrm, the days of yore.
That was pretty much it from Hue-it's nice but nothing to write home about. Then again, it's basically one giant town-sized museum, so I'm sure a lot of people would tell you differently. Off to Hoi An tomorrow to eat my body weight in noodles for the next few days. I say that like I haven't been doing that since I arrived, which we all know is total nonsense.
As always, thanks for reading!
Saturday, 23 November 2013
Ho Chi Minh and giant fake fruit-a match made in heaven
Greetings to you lovely people who are pushing through the pain and sticking with me here, and welcome to my last night in Hanoi! It's been a very relaxed couple of days, which we have definitely enjoyed. First and foremost, I would like to tell the world (all, hmmm, 3 of you, maybe, who are reading this) that couchsurfing is a pure joy. We are here in a very cool flat in Hanoi, pretending that we also live here and lording it around the centre of town with noses in the air, cursing all the ruddy tourists who swarm the streets. We simply don't mention that we are secretly part of that terrible group. Seriously though, we have lucked out with the place we're staying in and the hosts-two great Dutch people from, ta taaaaaa, The Netherlands! So yes, goooo couchsurfing!
Otherwise, here is what else has happened in the last couple of days:
-we went to the cinema. "Pray tell, what did you watch?' I hear you cry. Well friends, I will tell you...'Protector 2'. A Thai film. Martial arts based. In Thai. All in all, like Christmas had come early for me. The plot was riveting to say the least: a man's elephant was stolen and he went on a bit of rampage trying to get it back from the bad guys. There was a 30 minute long bike chase scene with some inexplicable elements (when I say some, I mean all), then a guy from the Wu Tang Clan turned up in a trilby and at the end he was blown up by the bombs in the elephant's tusks. And that was what I dedicated two hours of my life to.
After that seminal life moment, we sort of hung around in the hostel until we had to set off to the couchsurfers' house. The walk took about a million years through rush hour traffic with rucksacks. Another highlight. But any negativity soon disappeared when we arrived and were greeted with garlic bread and BEHOLD, tea!!!!! Sadly the sweat from the walk did not disappear as quickly as the negativity, but I was too busy crying with joy into my cup of tea to care. We just spent the evening chatting to the surfers and it was very excellent indeed.
Today, twas chilllllll. Fin and I took ourselves off to the Ho Chi Minh museum. Amazing how such a huge building can house such an uninformative museum. I now know what Uncle Ho looks like from every angle, but what the heck it was all about was not made abundantly clear. I looked at a cup he used, and saw a hat he once wore, but ask me what his main ideals were and I'd be speechless for the first time ever in life. There was also a room decorated like Picasso's guernica and, naturally, a room with a giant table covered in giant fruit. We then decided that the museum was the weirdest museum ever. Fact.
We took a stroll (read:hike) into the centre and had a strange little food tour. We ate the following: peanuts, a sweetcorn fritter, a fried rice cake with maaaaybe egg in the middle AND a delicious surprise in the form of a little piece of unidentified meat with some hair on it, then some Chinese braised pork served with 'fried rice with dried onions and fat'. We assumed that last one was just a bad translation but, no no, that is a 100% accurate description of what it was. Luckily, dinner brought the day back from the brink of food disaster: little pancakes filled with shrimps, beansprouts and herbs followed by roll-them-yourself fresh rice paper rolls with BBQ pork, salad and herbs. I hear your sighs of relief.
Tomorrow we leave for Hue and I believe there is some nice rainy weather awaiting us. Hurah!
Otherwise, here is what else has happened in the last couple of days:
-we went to the cinema. "Pray tell, what did you watch?' I hear you cry. Well friends, I will tell you...'Protector 2'. A Thai film. Martial arts based. In Thai. All in all, like Christmas had come early for me. The plot was riveting to say the least: a man's elephant was stolen and he went on a bit of rampage trying to get it back from the bad guys. There was a 30 minute long bike chase scene with some inexplicable elements (when I say some, I mean all), then a guy from the Wu Tang Clan turned up in a trilby and at the end he was blown up by the bombs in the elephant's tusks. And that was what I dedicated two hours of my life to.
After that seminal life moment, we sort of hung around in the hostel until we had to set off to the couchsurfers' house. The walk took about a million years through rush hour traffic with rucksacks. Another highlight. But any negativity soon disappeared when we arrived and were greeted with garlic bread and BEHOLD, tea!!!!! Sadly the sweat from the walk did not disappear as quickly as the negativity, but I was too busy crying with joy into my cup of tea to care. We just spent the evening chatting to the surfers and it was very excellent indeed.
Today, twas chilllllll. Fin and I took ourselves off to the Ho Chi Minh museum. Amazing how such a huge building can house such an uninformative museum. I now know what Uncle Ho looks like from every angle, but what the heck it was all about was not made abundantly clear. I looked at a cup he used, and saw a hat he once wore, but ask me what his main ideals were and I'd be speechless for the first time ever in life. There was also a room decorated like Picasso's guernica and, naturally, a room with a giant table covered in giant fruit. We then decided that the museum was the weirdest museum ever. Fact.
We took a stroll (read:hike) into the centre and had a strange little food tour. We ate the following: peanuts, a sweetcorn fritter, a fried rice cake with maaaaybe egg in the middle AND a delicious surprise in the form of a little piece of unidentified meat with some hair on it, then some Chinese braised pork served with 'fried rice with dried onions and fat'. We assumed that last one was just a bad translation but, no no, that is a 100% accurate description of what it was. Luckily, dinner brought the day back from the brink of food disaster: little pancakes filled with shrimps, beansprouts and herbs followed by roll-them-yourself fresh rice paper rolls with BBQ pork, salad and herbs. I hear your sighs of relief.
Tomorrow we leave for Hue and I believe there is some nice rainy weather awaiting us. Hurah!
Thursday, 21 November 2013
BIG NEWS: I drank a coffee
You can call the Braunschweiger Zeitung and the Thornbury Gazette and tell them that you have the scoop of the year: I, Megan Skinner, drank a coffee and I liked it. Granted it was heavily laden with condensed milk, but hey, it was coffee. I'll prepare myself for the paprazzi onslaught when I get home.
So the last day on Cat Ba was fairly uneventful-just woken at the crack of dawn by a cement mixer. Hoenstly, I felt like it was right next to my bed. So that was nice. We just hung around for a few hours until our bus left back to Hanoi. On the little speed boat between Cat Ba and Ha Long, a Vietnamese man made it very clear to me that he found my grey hair rather hilarious. Who knew that taking the mick transcends the language barrier? Try and get to a specific place and you don't know where you'll end up, but making fun of people in another language is very very easy to communicate.
The bus journey was quite a long one, but there was no unceremonial chucking out at the side of the road this time, thank the Lawd. Back in Hanoi, we got off the bus to be mobbed by the taxi mafia of Hanoi and promtply teamed up with some Germans (surprise surprise) to get a taxi into town. Ahhhhh Bavarians, no matter how long I live in Germany, there will never come a day when I understand more than 50% of what you say. I think they were nice, but really, they could have been hurling insults the whole way and I wouldn't have known any different. We managed to get into a hostel and went out to feed our rumbling tums: a plate of fried deliciousness was not enough to satisfy us, so we treated that as an appetizer and went for an immense egg and pork sandwich. Yes Beth, one of those sarnies! Following a few beers, we were ready to crash.
Yesterday was a cool day- super relaxed, which was good after allllll the strenuous activity. Ha! We decided that culture was the order of the morning, and trundled off to the museum of Vietnamese history. There is lots, it turns out. Vietnam is a very historical country! Those who have ever been on holiday with me know that museums are not my favourite things, but I behaved well and didn't break anything, so you can see it as a huge development in my path to mature and responsible adult. The museum was followed by the title-worthy coffee break, and then lunch. Bun cha, for the record, is bloody nice. Look it up and work out how to cook it for me when I come home, pleeeease. We then walked around for a lot of hours. Well, I say walked around- it was more just getting lost. We did chance upon a great cafe, though, which had seriously the best peanuts I've ever eaten. Stupid as it sounds, they were a massive highlight of the day. We even went back there later with some people from the hostel and their lives were also changed by the peanuts.
The day ended with a little beer tour of Hanoi with, of course, a German in tow. Very funny indeed! We're off to stay with a couchsurfer this evening so wish us luck!
Hope everyone is well
So the last day on Cat Ba was fairly uneventful-just woken at the crack of dawn by a cement mixer. Hoenstly, I felt like it was right next to my bed. So that was nice. We just hung around for a few hours until our bus left back to Hanoi. On the little speed boat between Cat Ba and Ha Long, a Vietnamese man made it very clear to me that he found my grey hair rather hilarious. Who knew that taking the mick transcends the language barrier? Try and get to a specific place and you don't know where you'll end up, but making fun of people in another language is very very easy to communicate.
The bus journey was quite a long one, but there was no unceremonial chucking out at the side of the road this time, thank the Lawd. Back in Hanoi, we got off the bus to be mobbed by the taxi mafia of Hanoi and promtply teamed up with some Germans (surprise surprise) to get a taxi into town. Ahhhhh Bavarians, no matter how long I live in Germany, there will never come a day when I understand more than 50% of what you say. I think they were nice, but really, they could have been hurling insults the whole way and I wouldn't have known any different. We managed to get into a hostel and went out to feed our rumbling tums: a plate of fried deliciousness was not enough to satisfy us, so we treated that as an appetizer and went for an immense egg and pork sandwich. Yes Beth, one of those sarnies! Following a few beers, we were ready to crash.
Yesterday was a cool day- super relaxed, which was good after allllll the strenuous activity. Ha! We decided that culture was the order of the morning, and trundled off to the museum of Vietnamese history. There is lots, it turns out. Vietnam is a very historical country! Those who have ever been on holiday with me know that museums are not my favourite things, but I behaved well and didn't break anything, so you can see it as a huge development in my path to mature and responsible adult. The museum was followed by the title-worthy coffee break, and then lunch. Bun cha, for the record, is bloody nice. Look it up and work out how to cook it for me when I come home, pleeeease. We then walked around for a lot of hours. Well, I say walked around- it was more just getting lost. We did chance upon a great cafe, though, which had seriously the best peanuts I've ever eaten. Stupid as it sounds, they were a massive highlight of the day. We even went back there later with some people from the hostel and their lives were also changed by the peanuts.
The day ended with a little beer tour of Hanoi with, of course, a German in tow. Very funny indeed! We're off to stay with a couchsurfer this evening so wish us luck!
Hope everyone is well
Tuesday, 19 November 2013
Am I in France?
Bonjour, tout le monde! Bienvenue à la belle France. Obviously I'm not actually in France but I might as well be considering the ridiculous number of Frenchies here. On our first day in Cat Ba, I thought that the Germans were the overwhelming majority but turns out their old frenemies the French have le upper main (the upper hand, for those not as gifted in French as my good self). They are everywhere, shrugging and looking surly as only the French know how. Fin and I are becoming quite the experts in guessing nationalities and we have got the French well and truly down now.
We had a really great day yesterday, although it was another early start, which Fin loved with all his heart. At about half 8 we went out on an old wooden boat into the bay for a day of water-based fun-sadly it was quite cloudy and a bit nippy on deck, but we hardened sailors toughed it out for a couple of hours. We sailed through some amazing scenery-huge rocky cliffs and a totally incomprehensible maze of little islands and fishing villages. It was truly amazing. I now have about 5000 photos of some big grey rocks, which you can all look forward to seeing when I work out how to upload photos on here. The accompanying dialogue will be something like this "here is a big rock. This another big rock we saw and THIS is a particularly rocky rock of the rock variety". Yes, you should be very excited.
After a couple of hours we went off kayaking into some so-called secluded caves, which were less secluded and more like a meeting place for Foreign Visitors to Cat Ba. Despite the kayak party in the lakes, it was actually beautiful-we even saw some wild monkeys, just chilling out on some rocks, having a little grooming session. Fin, being the 20 year old lad that he is, challenged some of our fellow tour mates to a kayak race. As I was in a kayak with Fin, I was more than thrilled at the prospect, especially since we had no life jackets. Great!
Back on the boat, it was, mercifully, time to eat what I can only describe as a culinary miracle. It was a full on Vietnamese spread of fresh fish, spring rolls, squid and shrimp patties for 12 people, all cooked in a tiny kitchen at the back of the boat. I'm pretty sure I ate about 80% of the spring rolls, but I distracted people from this by talking to a German about Everyone's favourite holiday topic-tax! Oh, it was a great conversation-so joyful and full of light and hilarious anecdotes about the delights of the German tax system. You can imagine the laughs we must have had.
The rest of the day trip included some swimming and snorkelling, which lasted all of 15 minutes because it was actually rather murky in the water and pretty chilly, and more chugging around on the boat. We did a few laps of one part of the bay because somehow we lost a kayak and we had to go look for it. Our guide even had a safari explorer hat on for the occasion. Unfortunately it didn't help his kayak-seeking senses and he gave it up as a lost cause. We eventually got back about half 5 and went for a well deserved lie down before going out for some lovely beer with some of the people off the boat.
All in all, a rather tip top day!
We had a really great day yesterday, although it was another early start, which Fin loved with all his heart. At about half 8 we went out on an old wooden boat into the bay for a day of water-based fun-sadly it was quite cloudy and a bit nippy on deck, but we hardened sailors toughed it out for a couple of hours. We sailed through some amazing scenery-huge rocky cliffs and a totally incomprehensible maze of little islands and fishing villages. It was truly amazing. I now have about 5000 photos of some big grey rocks, which you can all look forward to seeing when I work out how to upload photos on here. The accompanying dialogue will be something like this "here is a big rock. This another big rock we saw and THIS is a particularly rocky rock of the rock variety". Yes, you should be very excited.
After a couple of hours we went off kayaking into some so-called secluded caves, which were less secluded and more like a meeting place for Foreign Visitors to Cat Ba. Despite the kayak party in the lakes, it was actually beautiful-we even saw some wild monkeys, just chilling out on some rocks, having a little grooming session. Fin, being the 20 year old lad that he is, challenged some of our fellow tour mates to a kayak race. As I was in a kayak with Fin, I was more than thrilled at the prospect, especially since we had no life jackets. Great!
Back on the boat, it was, mercifully, time to eat what I can only describe as a culinary miracle. It was a full on Vietnamese spread of fresh fish, spring rolls, squid and shrimp patties for 12 people, all cooked in a tiny kitchen at the back of the boat. I'm pretty sure I ate about 80% of the spring rolls, but I distracted people from this by talking to a German about Everyone's favourite holiday topic-tax! Oh, it was a great conversation-so joyful and full of light and hilarious anecdotes about the delights of the German tax system. You can imagine the laughs we must have had.
The rest of the day trip included some swimming and snorkelling, which lasted all of 15 minutes because it was actually rather murky in the water and pretty chilly, and more chugging around on the boat. We did a few laps of one part of the bay because somehow we lost a kayak and we had to go look for it. Our guide even had a safari explorer hat on for the occasion. Unfortunately it didn't help his kayak-seeking senses and he gave it up as a lost cause. We eventually got back about half 5 and went for a well deserved lie down before going out for some lovely beer with some of the people off the boat.
All in all, a rather tip top day!
Monday, 18 November 2013
For the record, I'm not a fan of pig testicle
I know everybody says that Vietnamese food is absolutely amazing and up until last night, I would have been right there driving that bandwagon. That was before I was served an otherwise delicious meal which involved, as is probably quite obvious, a pig's gonad. Yes friends, I looked at the suspicious round thing on my plate and thought 'hmmm, maybe that is a little testicle there on my plate', but I ate it anyway and decided that yes, I was probably right. For the sake of those interested, it tasted like a spongy meat flavoured egg. As delicious as it sounds.
My foray into the world of eating animal goolies came after a bit of an adventure on our way to Ha Long Bay. We got the bus (evidently the wrong bus) ok and four and a half hours after hopping on, we were promptly turfed out onto the side of a dark highway. "Luckily" there were some conveniently placed moped riders waiting on the off chance a bus load of people containing 7 clueless tourists would drive by and bustle the tourists off. THANK HEAVENS FOR THAT, EH? At this point, I think me and the other people from the bus (Czechs-also clueless) were a little bit panicky and worried that we were going to be taken into the night and held at gunpoint and robbed of all our worldly possessions and never see the light of day again. Fin, on the other hand, was cool as a cucumber and hopped on. Turns out they didn't want to kill us, just take us to a hotel. So we didn't get as far as we had planned that night, but on the plus side, I can now say I've survived a near death experience (yes, it was near death, I'm not exaggerating at all), eaten a pig's ball and nearly got chased by a Vietnamese police man for going to a private dance performance (thanks to dear cousin of mine).
Today was much nicer, although an early start meant no breakfast for my rumbling stomach. We haggled for a taxi to the ferry terminal and got on what can only be described as a pile of rust that formerly may have been recognisable as a ferry. Now it is rust, held together by a little bit of non rusty metal. Obviously, I felt safe as houses. Or not. It was a cool trip, though, right through the bay past all these giant imposing cliffs. It was like out of a film. Except I wasn't a secret agent or an elf or something cool like that. Just an English person sitting on a floating pile of rust. When we arrived on the other side, we jumped into a little local bus and went the rocky road to Cat Ba town.
Upon arrival, both blinded by hunger, we went to almost the first place we saw and trusted one of the MILLION Germans that are here that it's a decent hotel. It is. The room has an amazing view and we have a bed each, which is mega luxury. They also rented us a moped, which is terrifying/awesome fun. We zipped around the island a bit, meeting more Germans and hanging out on some beaches, and came back for a well deserved rest. The woman in the hotel told me she saw me driving and I don't drive fast enough: a country where they encourage you to drive faster? I think this is my mum's dream country
My foray into the world of eating animal goolies came after a bit of an adventure on our way to Ha Long Bay. We got the bus (evidently the wrong bus) ok and four and a half hours after hopping on, we were promptly turfed out onto the side of a dark highway. "Luckily" there were some conveniently placed moped riders waiting on the off chance a bus load of people containing 7 clueless tourists would drive by and bustle the tourists off. THANK HEAVENS FOR THAT, EH? At this point, I think me and the other people from the bus (Czechs-also clueless) were a little bit panicky and worried that we were going to be taken into the night and held at gunpoint and robbed of all our worldly possessions and never see the light of day again. Fin, on the other hand, was cool as a cucumber and hopped on. Turns out they didn't want to kill us, just take us to a hotel. So we didn't get as far as we had planned that night, but on the plus side, I can now say I've survived a near death experience (yes, it was near death, I'm not exaggerating at all), eaten a pig's ball and nearly got chased by a Vietnamese police man for going to a private dance performance (thanks to dear cousin of mine).
Today was much nicer, although an early start meant no breakfast for my rumbling stomach. We haggled for a taxi to the ferry terminal and got on what can only be described as a pile of rust that formerly may have been recognisable as a ferry. Now it is rust, held together by a little bit of non rusty metal. Obviously, I felt safe as houses. Or not. It was a cool trip, though, right through the bay past all these giant imposing cliffs. It was like out of a film. Except I wasn't a secret agent or an elf or something cool like that. Just an English person sitting on a floating pile of rust. When we arrived on the other side, we jumped into a little local bus and went the rocky road to Cat Ba town.
Upon arrival, both blinded by hunger, we went to almost the first place we saw and trusted one of the MILLION Germans that are here that it's a decent hotel. It is. The room has an amazing view and we have a bed each, which is mega luxury. They also rented us a moped, which is terrifying/awesome fun. We zipped around the island a bit, meeting more Germans and hanging out on some beaches, and came back for a well deserved rest. The woman in the hotel told me she saw me driving and I don't drive fast enough: a country where they encourage you to drive faster? I think this is my mum's dream country
Saturday, 16 November 2013
Oh look, a man draining the blood from a beheaded turtle!
Yes, that is one thing we saw today on our big giant walk around Hanoi. It was quite gross but weirdly compelling. The main question was : what the Dickens are they going to do with all the blood? It turns out that turtles are quite the bloody animals. Another great fact to add to the list of useless information stored in my brain.
Believe it or not, turtle death was not the highlight of the first full day here. We had a fairly late start and had a decent breakfast in the place we're staying-Fin was overjoyed that it was an unlimited buffet-and then we set off to find the Temple of Literature. We found it ok, but so had seemingly ALL the high school students in Hanoi. There was some kind of massive graduation ceremony so, instead of marvelling at the beauty and wonder of the place (it was very beautiful and wonderful), we mainly just watched Vietnamese teenagers throw their hats in the air. A warning to all female Western travellers: Vietnamese girls are tiny and beautiful, so expect to feel like a big, clumsy, giant whose facial features were randomly selected from a pile of 'unused' ones and then thrown onto your face from about 10 metres by a blind man with no arms.
Afterwards, we had a big long walk around the French quarter, which is really interesting and filled with beaucoup de Françaises. For lunch, we found a little street stall and I munched on some tasty ribs, and Fin went for tofu. Oh ribs, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... well, 3, as that was how many I had. Needless to say, they were gone in about 10seconds, down into my belly. Yehhhhh. The meandering (also known as getting totally lost) continued after lunch and ended with a coffee up above the streets. Oh yeah, and Fin had a flipping delicious sandwich. He said that he's going to have one for every meal from here on in. I don't believe him.
Congratulations for getting to the end of this post-you should be proud of your perseverance!
Believe it or not, turtle death was not the highlight of the first full day here. We had a fairly late start and had a decent breakfast in the place we're staying-Fin was overjoyed that it was an unlimited buffet-and then we set off to find the Temple of Literature. We found it ok, but so had seemingly ALL the high school students in Hanoi. There was some kind of massive graduation ceremony so, instead of marvelling at the beauty and wonder of the place (it was very beautiful and wonderful), we mainly just watched Vietnamese teenagers throw their hats in the air. A warning to all female Western travellers: Vietnamese girls are tiny and beautiful, so expect to feel like a big, clumsy, giant whose facial features were randomly selected from a pile of 'unused' ones and then thrown onto your face from about 10 metres by a blind man with no arms.
Afterwards, we had a big long walk around the French quarter, which is really interesting and filled with beaucoup de Françaises. For lunch, we found a little street stall and I munched on some tasty ribs, and Fin went for tofu. Oh ribs, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... well, 3, as that was how many I had. Needless to say, they were gone in about 10seconds, down into my belly. Yehhhhh. The meandering (also known as getting totally lost) continued after lunch and ended with a coffee up above the streets. Oh yeah, and Fin had a flipping delicious sandwich. He said that he's going to have one for every meal from here on in. I don't believe him.
Congratulations for getting to the end of this post-you should be proud of your perseverance!
Friday, 15 November 2013
Oi oi Hanoi!
Oh, hi Hanoi!
Looks like we made it here just about in one piece. The flight was an absolutely almighty feat of endurance- 12.5 big fat hours from London to Kuala Lumpur, so needless to say, I spent some quality time with the in-flight entertainment system. The Heat, by the way, is very funny. Sandra Bullock is a total classic. Also, the food was pretty good for an airplane: salmon and tilapia, and prawn curry and rice for breakfast. Yehhhh.
Then it was a 3 hour flight (delayed, obviously) from KL to Hanoi. This ALSO included breakfast of Malaysian pancakes and chicken curry, which is obviously exactly what I wanted at 10am.
After a bit of a wait at Hanoi to sort out the ol' Visa, I finally got through to see Fin brandishing a homemade sign with my name on it, so that was an unexpected bonus. Hopped in a taxi for a DEATH RIDE to the centre, where we were promptly taken to the wrong hostel. But thennn we found our hotel and turns out to be super swanky and we have a laptop and free Wi-fi, so hence this post.
Ok, I think it's shower time because we are both stinking.
Looks like we made it here just about in one piece. The flight was an absolutely almighty feat of endurance- 12.5 big fat hours from London to Kuala Lumpur, so needless to say, I spent some quality time with the in-flight entertainment system. The Heat, by the way, is very funny. Sandra Bullock is a total classic. Also, the food was pretty good for an airplane: salmon and tilapia, and prawn curry and rice for breakfast. Yehhhh.
Then it was a 3 hour flight (delayed, obviously) from KL to Hanoi. This ALSO included breakfast of Malaysian pancakes and chicken curry, which is obviously exactly what I wanted at 10am.
After a bit of a wait at Hanoi to sort out the ol' Visa, I finally got through to see Fin brandishing a homemade sign with my name on it, so that was an unexpected bonus. Hopped in a taxi for a DEATH RIDE to the centre, where we were promptly taken to the wrong hostel. But thennn we found our hotel and turns out to be super swanky and we have a laptop and free Wi-fi, so hence this post.
Ok, I think it's shower time because we are both stinking.
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
The madness (almost) begins
Well, I guess this is my blog...ta da! I'm not one of the great literary minds of our time, so don't expect too much from this, but at least it'll keep interested parties up to date on my adventures.
This post is really just a test to see if I can actually work the bloggy thing correctly, so there is nothing too interesting to say right now. I have mainly been despairing at the amount of money I've spent in Boots pharmacy the past two days (it's a lot, in case you're interested...probably not). And planning my post-trip wardrobe, which consists almost exclusively of kaftans and moomoos to accommodate my Asian-food-filled belllyyyyyy.
I hope that there will be more interesting things to write in the near future. More for your sakes, really- most people know I can talk at great length about very boring topics.
Yess, my dinner is ready. Bye!
This post is really just a test to see if I can actually work the bloggy thing correctly, so there is nothing too interesting to say right now. I have mainly been despairing at the amount of money I've spent in Boots pharmacy the past two days (it's a lot, in case you're interested...probably not). And planning my post-trip wardrobe, which consists almost exclusively of kaftans and moomoos to accommodate my Asian-food-filled belllyyyyyy.
I hope that there will be more interesting things to write in the near future. More for your sakes, really- most people know I can talk at great length about very boring topics.
Yess, my dinner is ready. Bye!
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