...and he put the cat in the bag and tied up the top

Xin chao from Hué, ye olde imperial captial of Vietnam. We arrived a full day later than expected, thanks to the shifty shuffler travel agency we booked the bus tickets through. Our 'last day' in Hanoi was spent hanging around, eating and drinking a lot, basically just waiting for the bus. We were actually interviewed by some Vietnamese students who wanted to practice their English on us. Fin and I were pretty sure that they were about 14 but, no no, they were like 19 or 20. They got very giggly when Fin said he was 20-a nice little ego massage for him. I, on the other hand, again felt like a very gigantic clumsy oaf, especially when one of the girls sat right next to me to 'interview' me. It was less an interview, more just her telling me she likes to cook for her family and nodding politely every time I said something, which she clearly didn't understand at all!
We managed to get away from what could have been a verrrrry long conversation with the excuse that we were getting the bus soon. Technically true, but in reality, it actually didn't happen. We went to the street where the agency was to be greeted by the oh-so-comforting sight of the employees riding off into the night on their mopeds. I went into full panic mode, but was told to chill out and that everything would be fine. Everything was not fine! We waited for a good hour and no-one came: the only positive I could derive from the situation was that it felt a little bit like a 'Home Alone' situation, except a lot less fun. And there were no life sized cardboard Michael Jordans. Boooo. In the end, I booked us into a hotel and vowed to seek revenge on the agency the next day. They would rue the day they ever cheated me out of 50 big ones!
Dinner was a very interesting affair: it's quite possible that I once again consumed a part of a pig that is not necessarily on my 'must-eat' list. This time, intestines, which were deep fried so they resembled chicken nuggets, served with chilli dipping sauce and chips fried in coconut oil. Mmmm, coconutty chips. Sounds great, eh? (Just in case you weren't sure, that was thinly veiled sarcasm for you-the chips were beyond odd). After that culinary delight, I completely crashed: having a little nervous breakdown is certainly an effective way to tire yourself out.
The next day we were woken at 6am by a lovely sound of nature, namely a cockerel that was so loud I felt like it had snuck into our room in the night and was sitting on my head, waiting to alert me to the fact that the day, the wonderful day, had begun, so get up now please. And so it was time to face the proverbial music: I was off to the agency. Well, after a good breakfast, of course. Priorities. Worryingly, while we were having breakfast, we could see into the agency and the three guys in there had a little cat, which was promptly dumped into a bag, sealed off from the world and shoved in the corner of the office. That naturally did wonders for my nerves. So off we went to the cat murderers. And look, we survived! And we got our money back. However, there was no movement from the cat in the bag, so it wasn't a win for everyone.
Another day was spent waiting for a different mode of transport-this time, the train. It was a beautiful day in Hanoi and a fine way to bid farewell to this city which we had got to know very, very well indeed. Oh, and we had some bloody nice dim sum:they should call it dim YUM! Hahahaha-see what I did there? More of that comedy gold later. Anyway, fiiiiianlly at 7pm the train rolled out of Hanoi station on its way South. Fin and I had beds (beds is a very generous term) in a 6 person room and boy, it was cosy. The cherry on top of that cake? A snorer! Actually, the little dusting of icing sugar on the cherry appeared in the shape of a little chubby lad boarding the train at 5am (he wasn't alone, by the way-he had parents in tow) and preceding to watch some kind of very loud video on his dad's smart phone. Wow, kids are my favourite things ever. Truly a wonderful experience. We feasted on a picnic of Ritz crackers, Oreos and peanut M&Ms (no, I'm not giving away any of my culinary secrets-only a handful of talented people can come up with a menu so diverse, radical and delectable and I am one of them. Deal with it) and settled down for a 13 hour train trip to Hue.
Upon arrival, we walked down what I'm sure is the longest ever road to a little hotel and went upstairs to have a breakfast of kings: Ritz crackers, Oreos and peanut M&Ms. Having digested the gastronomical masterpiece, we toddled off to the imperial city: a very impressive site of old temples and pagodas from, errrrrm, the days of yore.
That was pretty much it from Hue-it's nice but nothing to write home about. Then again, it's basically one giant town-sized museum, so I'm sure a lot of people would tell you differently. Off to Hoi An tomorrow to eat my body weight in noodles for the next few days. I say that like I haven't been doing that since I arrived, which we all know is total nonsense.
As always, thanks for reading!