Who needs rollercoasters when you have a bus?

Rollercoasters? Forget it. Bungee jumping? For little girls. Skydiving? Borrrrrring! If you're looking for the ultimate in extreme sports, get on a mini bus in Vietnam-it's a thrill seekers dream. Too many people packed, and I mean PACKED, into a mini bus and taken on a ride from a town high in the mountains to a town at the coast. Ok, that doesn't sound so crazy, but throw in the elements of no seatbelts, air conditioning that felt like a dog was breathing on you and a road that was more pot hole than actual road and you have a recipe for a wild time. Also, the driver was quite insane. I was a little worried about the lack of seatbelts but actually, we were all sitting so close to each other that there was no chance of breaking free from the mass and being catapulted into the air. If you imagine a human game of tetris, you're along the right lines of the close proximity of one person to the next. There was no choice but to get cosy with your new neighbour which, as Brits, goes against everything we hold sacred (namely, the delight in sitting alone on public transport whenever possible so as not to have to talk to actual other human beings). A happy 6 hours!
We arrived in Mui Ne around 6pm and hopped on the back of a couple of mopeds to go to our hotel. We had a lovely detour along the main street before our drivers realised we were going in completely the wrong direction. Clearly, they were from the same school of orientation as my good self. We eventually found our place (Sunrise Village-yes, that is the name of the hotel and not the name of a 1970s soap opera) and were pretty much in and out within 30 seconds because my stomach was being very vocal about how empty it was feeling. Quite the belly operatics. We ate in a shack around the corner with, surprise surprise, most of Russia. Russians, I have realised, go quite a curious shade of red when they are released into the sun. And they appear to have some quality to their skin whereby they not only go red, but also shiny. So yes, we ate surrounded by a lot of red shiny people with mullets and a penchant for early 90s fashion.
The first full day in Mui Ne was relaxing as, errr, whales (like, whale music-you know what I mean, right?). We hit the beach and marvelled at all the shiny Russians, glistening in the sun like big, red, hairy rubies in speedos, and I had a swim in the sea. Fin didn't and later justified it by telling me that the South China Sea is essentially one massive sewerage tank, just stewing away, festering and slopping around in the heat. So then I went and had a bath in antibacterial handwash. Not really, but I was quite liberal with it for the rest of the afternoon. The rest of the day was similarly lazy-fascinating, I know.
Today, we did basically the only sightseeing that Mui Ne has to offer: some big sand dunes. As if that weren't thrilling enough, I'd also read that it's possible to go sledding down them, so with it being December, we decided to embrace the Christmas spirit and go sledging. We hired a motorcycle from the hotel and drove off into the unknown. It's pretty much one road to get there but I was navigating, so we could have ended up almost anywhere. Luckily, and quite astoundingly, we made it there with no problems-except for the minor point that the bike's brakes left a lot to be desired when it came to efficiency-but no accidents, so all was well. The sand dunes were mighty impressive, I must say. We were like Laurence and Lauren of Arabia, except neither of us is from Arabia, or called Laurence or Lauren. We were also not swathed in great, white robes. But apart from that, exactly the same. After being accosted by a monkey who was fiddling with his giblets and didn't care who the heck was watching, we took a couple of sand sleds (pieces of plastic) up the dunes, ready for the big fun! Well, it was entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons: it was impossible to get any speed going down and so it looked totally pathetic and slow, which was hilarious to watch. Also, it's a surefire way to clog every orifice of your body with burning sand, which is not the most comfortable of experiences. We hung around, watching the people 'russian' all over the place (like, rushing all over the place-get it???) and encasing ourselves in a layer of sand which will undoubtedly prove impossible to get rid of. When we felt that yes, sand is now literally everywhere on our bodies, we called it a day and had a glorious ride home, rewarding ourselves with a victory beer at the end.
We leave for Saigon tomorrow, where our trip will come to an end and we'll part ways. No wonder Fin is so chipper!